Professor Green ft. Emili Sandé's "Read all about it"

Cheer up

Waay, finally got a new track to write about. This week, Professor Green featuring the actual singing talents of Emili Sandé. I’ve never heard of her either, but on this track she certainly sounds… fine. She’s as good as all rising female pop-music singers ever get. Alright. Because like a growing number of female pop singers, she sounds the same as the majority of female pop singers (something a bit like Rihanna). Whether this is what she is trying too sound like this is another question, but I am just a bit sick and tired of this X-Factor style, pseudo-emotional, flavourless voice that dominates the charts.

I mean i'm not criticising her talents, she can without a doubt sing well, but when I listen to new music I want to hear personality, quirkiness, originality, as well as the prerequisite of talent. If this girl and Rhianna did a collaboration, it would sound as diverse as Jedward. To go one further: If this girl, Rihanna, Leona Lewis, Alexandra Burke, Nicole Scherzinger, Jamelia, Fergie and Nelly Furtado did a collaboration, it would sound as diverse as a choir of doorbells (or more frighteningly, four Jedwards).

It must be remembered however that this is not her song (although I'm guessing she was a significant collaborator), but it is Prof. Green's. Who to me sounds like a landan gangsta in the body of a chipmunk. I'm not going to dwell on my view of his style of rap, but it just isn't for me. He uses the vowel 'a' too much, and over-emphasises every syllable that comes out his mouth. An' nattin gets own ma tits more d'an silly axents from da getto brav ya get me brap brap.

Leaving the talent to one side, the track has no real unique qualities. It's one, typically pop, chord sequence that runs from beginning to end, divided into a binary structure alternating between the chipmunk and the wolf. I would of thought that a contrasting section might of added a different dimension to the track; it might have been interesting to hear Sandé lead a new theme, but Green obviously thinks differently. I really can't find much good to say about this one. Yet it's number one so what do I know.

'Read all about it' is just Britain's shitter answer to Eminem and Rihanna's 'Love the way you lie'. They are more or less musically identical. Go listen to the Eminem track here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uelHwf8o7_U&ob=av3e.

Harmonically, they are relatively identical: same typically pop chord sequence running throughout. Structurally identical: singing, rapping, singing, rapping etc. The only difference is that Eminem's track has so much more power than Green's, and I think that's regretfully due to the fact that both Eminem and Rihanna are just far more powerful performers than Green and Sandé. When you listen to both tracks one after another you really can hear how Green is trying to be Eminem, and how Sandé is trying to be Rihanna (although you can't blame her because so is everybody else).

So incase you hadn't realised by this point, not really a fan of this weeks number one. I would love to try and pick out some decent points about the track... honest. But there is really nothing that has impressed me this week. Same-old 'fine' talent being wasted on a same-old expressionless, duplicated backing track. Sorry Prof. Green. 'Choco-balls' don't taste as good as 'M&Ms'. Pun intended.

Disappointment-o-meter: 8.5/10

Article first published as UK X Factor: Professor Green ft. Emili Sandé 'Read All About It' on Technorati.